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geek_dragon

I talked things over with my bf

I talked things over with my bf

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WE're giving it another shot. He wants to try during the summer, and if things aren't working out in theharmonius living, then we'll move out to seperate places.

We both have lots on our plates, so it's hard to be together enough to realize that little things need to get tweaked. Things run along until the pot boils over so to speak.

Someone pointed out that my solution seemed like loads of work, but really, moving would be equal loads of work. Finding a place, packing my stuff, figuring out what stuff is mine, paying for the joint stuff I want to keep, storing the stuff I wouldn't need if renting a room (yeah a single room is all I could afford), figuring out and adapting to using a stranger's kitchen and fridge, meeting new roomies, moving my stuff, unpacking, getting internet service, watching the utilities if i had to share them, finding the closest laundro-mat, getting a bus pass, asking about parking, ect, ect.
  • Hard Work

    Life is hard work - relatioships are part of the hardest. I dunno that you will ever be happy with Andrew - but I respect your decision to try and work it out. And yeah, all that other stuff would be really hard too!
  • I read your last couple of posts all together, but decided to only commment on this most recent one.

    Speaking as a someone who lived with his ex-wife because it was convenient for nearly 7 months after we called it quits it's a mistake. Of course I didn't realize it until after she moved out and then it was like the feeling you described when you said Andrew was out for the evening. It was like a weight was lifted.

    In retrospect I would never again subject myself to anything like that. I would sooner live on a friends couch for 7 months than to share an apartment with someone that had decided they no longer loved me and was only staying with me becasue it was convenient.

    From what you've said it doesn't sound like Andrew is being physically abusive, but he's definitely not doing you any favours mentally. I would serious talk to someone from a women's group that deals with these kind of issues. While I don't think you've reached a point where you need the help of a women's shelter or anything, I think they would definitley have advice for you and your situation.

    Life is too short to be unhappy when its in your control to change it.
  • I know Andrew, and I know he is a nice guy who would never intentionally harm anyone. I for one am glad you are having another go at it. People give up too easily on relationships sometimes I think. Sometimes also when there is so much going on in both of your lives, its easy to lose sight of why you are even with the person. I would have supported your decision no matter what, but I am glad you are giving it another shot.
    • Wasn't planning on breaking up, just moving up

      I'm not sure if I should stay or move out, but we're giving living together another go. Cohabitation is hard, and sometimes it drives me nuts. Often actually, but lately, every time we fight we've been coming up with solutions. :)

      Hugs.
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