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Where have all the women gone?

Where have all the women gone?

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Of the people in healthy marriages, I see only the men's side.  I know they have spouses of the opposite gender, b/c that's where the babies came from.  The wives are sort of only an abstract concept since I don't know them.  So the path seems safe if you are a man, but there are no women's voices in my world.   Supposedly, there are feminists that have blazed the path to modern marriage and childraising, escaping the trap of being live in maid, but I don't know what they did, who they are, or even if they aren't just fiction.  Being a girl is easy since they tell you that you can do anything.  Being a woman is downright scary.  We don't really exist. It's all just roles.  Lose weight, go on this diet, have sex appeal, be a good mother, get a good career... a thick coat of fantasy covers and erodes the people underneath.  Every role is a shiny dream that actually is a trap ensnaring one into acting out some media drama.
Womanhood, a number on a scale, a bunch of dishes in the sink.  Womanhood- I reject.

Women don't exist.  It's just the bathroom with the stalls b/c some of us can't use urinals.
  • (no subject) - solandra
    • thanks. i was fretting again. I fret alot about gender roles. i have a fear that somehow i could wake up one morning and be a sit com stereotype. house work tends to trigger my deepest fears.
  • My mom has a healthy marriage. I hear her side a lot. I'd like to hear more from my stepdad.
    Alex and Amber (Alex is my brother, Amber is married to him) have a healthy marriage. I hear a lot from both.

    I don't follow these roles. I look out for my roommate as she's not always that good at it. She does what she can to ensure I'm sane, providing it doesn't involve close emotional contact.

    actually I don't think I'd ever do so. "gender roles" are restrictive because people desire them to be so. We have no obligation to actually follow them.
    IMO, this is where relationship communication comes in: what whoever we're with and ourselves share about the running of a house, cooperation over family issues and what kind of journeys we share. The easy path is to take "social expectations" - but it's probably not the right one, especially for a feminist.
    We don't even have to follow other social expectations : relationship structure, appropriate working conditions, ... *heh*. It is easier to though...

    Amber's great at kicking Alex if he ever falls into "social expectations" *grin*. It's one of the reasons I so admire her marriage to him - as his pushing for that is why we fought so much.

    This has always been one of my bugbears. While I'm quite good at many things, I don't do "what's expected" and thus get marked in Society as a failure - and because I do actually -try- to do "what's expected", it results in a disconnect.
    So I should quit trying and get on with living - and succeeding. That is my lesson from this :)

    Personally, I'd like to be a house-husband. I also like working from home - and should be quite successful at it. I may be trying that here shortly :)
  • Women who choose other paths tend to have "social expectations" of SAHMs. What if a large percentage of SAHMs actually prefer their current roles? Then they feel trapped because they do not fit the stereotype of the liberated woman.
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