April 18th, 2010


Trying to see the other side... Male Rights Activists

So I've been poking around reading articles at and linked to from http://www.the-spearhead.com/

I want to see their points and if they have any valid ones.  It's hard because most of the commentors and articles are centered around how women are evil creatures inacable of loving and evilly withholding sex for large amounts of money.

And there are generalist statements like these:
When all that men can do to get by is use deception and avoidance, there will be no honor and no code. This is what has been bothering my friend, and this is why Game is the only tool that works with women today: only by bluffing can a man appear to be masculine in the eyes of a woman, because in reality he is at her mercy and the mercy of the state, and for all intents and purposes the loser of a war waged against him.

Many of the commentors forget that women are people.  They seem to be angry because they have a "right" to sex with a female and it isn't being met.  They are angriliy opting out of marriage because they don't want to split their assets when they divorce, and don't want to pay child support.  Oh and what about their reproductive rights?  It's so horrible that women have the end vote about carrying a pregnancy to term.
Lots of comments refer to non-virginal women as dump-and-pump, and the angry commentors express disgust that they can't find a "pure" women to bed.

Some valid points:
women who move their children away from the father yet the father has to pay alimony. Or the courts favour mothers
I think that unless the father really is abusive, he should be allowed to see the children.  I think that fathers should help support their children, if they can afford it.  Tricky point is figuring out which parent if any is really abusive, and having the resources to make sure the parent paying child support can afford it.  There are stories on both "sides"... abusive fathers wrongfully getting custody, and abusive mothers getting custody, and each "side" refusing visiting rights.  If the children are with one parent, the other should provide alimony as much as they can aford without going into debt or bankrupt, regardless of gender.
There are possibly more men wronged in this case than women, but I propose that instead of treating it as a case of women wronging men, treat it as a weakness in the system, and look to improve it from there.

Women whine about equal pay for equal work, but 97% of the deaths in the workforce are men.
Danger pay.  Dangerous jobs tend to pay more than "safe" jobs.  Also there is the "boys" club atmosphere.  I don't think men want women around when they are in those toxic environments of having to act all manly, talk the righ macho BS and drink themselves under the table.
Woman have less of a chance being hired in these jobs, because it requires a lot of physical strength, but also because of the sick macho culture.  It's the men working out there that are going to have to stand up and make the culture less toxic if they want women dying out there on the rigs with them.  Also stricter gov action and real penalties.  I think more DRY camps will work.  Also... with the horror stories of gang rapes at camps... I can see people beging their daughters, wives, girlfriends or friends to pick any job but one at camp.

Women are rampantly lying about rape, and these false accusations are destroying men!

False rape accusations do destroy people.  It's almost as horrible as rape itself.  I'm not sure how there can be so many false accusations with wrongful prosection when most rape victims I know have been laughed at by the cops.  That horrifying 1 in 4 stat that the male rights activist claim is just a fear mongering stat is unforetunatly real.  I'm sorry MRAs but those stats about violence against women, and rape... aren't just to vilify you... they are real stats.  There is a problem with violence against women.  I think money comes into play.  I think the poor rape victims tend to get laughed at, while the richer ones can afford lawyers.  It wouldn't surprise me if the falsely accused of rape victims were rich, and that the accusers had money for sharp lawyers.  The system seems to be a bit of a gong show, screwing everyone over, but I don't know how to fix it.

There is lots of support for female rape victims, but male rape victims are laughed at! And what about resources for men who are victims of violent abuse!

This pisses me off.  I like to hope that the message will go out that rape is not acceptable PERIOD, that abuse is not acceptable PERIOD, regardless of gender.  Many women victims end up fearing men, and the reverse is probably true, so I don't see a women run rape counseling for men, or women run shelter for men to be effective.  Some women's shelters might be able to accomodate men... but often victims are so traumatized they go into panic attacks or flashbacks just from being around men.  So sorry men, but I think you might have to take the initiative here. 

I can't remember my other points.  Basically... there are a lot of mean and stupid people out there, there are a lot of bitter hurt people lashing out at the general group of those that have hurt them, there are also lots of great wonderful people out there too.  See people as individuals.