geek_dragon (geek_dragon) wrote,

Amazing Clarity This First of april!

I woke up this morning, and all was clear- I’m really a stone trapped in a human’s body. I’m a granite otherkin! That explains my love of outdoors and why I like sleeping so much. It explains my high inertia, my lethargy and any stubbornness I possess. After all, you can shout all you want, but a rock isn’t going to move under your words alone!

Now it is my mission to find my rocky otherkin brethren, and rise up to protect our true rock siblings from their biggest threat: erosion! That’s right! My siblings we MUST rise up and stop the foul winds and rains from their oppression of sediment formation! Every year, hundreds of cubic tonnes of precious rock are worn down into gory pulverized remains and carted by the treacherous creeks and rivers to be callously dumped into a watery grave! I will not stand for this brutality!

Even if you are not rock otherkin, your heart may be touched by our plight. I beg of you, lobby your local seats of power to STOP THE MADNESS! Politely write letters or send e-mails requesting that all rain and wind be stopped, and that farmers switch to drop irrigaton, for the PRESERVATION of our dear friends, the ROCKS!

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